Today is my birthday.
I’m in shreds inside.
It’s always so hard on me because I realize how alone I really am. What’s worse is that every year is all the same; I get the biggest box of disappointment from all the people I’ve chosen to care about in my life.
The year before wasn’t easy and the years that follow after get harder because you collect the past memories on the very day that’s supposed to be most important to you.
I used to be suicidal because of the way people made me feel inside. These weren’t average people either, these were people that I cared for more than myself. What’s hard is swallowing these thoughts and trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel to every situation. The only problem is that the tunnel is caving in and I seem to find it harder to push through days like this. I’m not only disappointed in myself for wasting so much time and effort into people’s happiness, but I’m appalled and shook by the lack of effort that’s put into mine.
I’m gonna keep praying that one day kindness will grant me better days.20 Feb reblog 1 note